Saturday, November 25, 2006

God Bless/Curse You

As I was hurrying off work today, a young woman sitting at a bus stop across the street shouted "'Scuse me!" and then something indecipherable. Its been my experience that whenever someone stops you downtown with the entreaty "Excuse me," it is inevitably followed by a request for money, even when prefaced with "I'm not gonna ask you for money" and when you refuse you usually receive the don't-you-feel-guilty-now riposte of "God bless you" from the slighted party.

I blurted "I'm late for work and I can't hear what you're saying...God bless!" and busied myself along down the street. (Did this woman expect me to cross the street against traffic so I could politely listen to her appeal for change, politely refuse it and be even later for work? Is this the new Social Contract of downtown commuting?)

I heard her angry reply, "Don't you 'God bless me'!"

Surprised, I hurried replied, "OK, then fuck you!" (In Ali G urban parlance, this is the equivalent of "Whatever.")

My misanthropy is turning me into Ambrose Bierce. But at least I'm honest.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

i wonder if ambrose bierce will turn up on HBO'sDeadwood. on the eastside it's always scuse me, i just want to ask you a question. then comes i just need enough money to get to...

3:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Once I was crossing Howard to get to Ottobar, and a woman was yelling at me from across traffic. I motioned that I couldn't hear her above the noise, and shouted, "Excuse me?", thinking she was trying to ask me for the time or something. "DON'T YOU HOLLER AT ME, YOU UGLY-ASS BITCH!! she shouted. "WHO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO?!!!!" That was her urgent question for me, I guess. Lesson learned: ignore crack whores.

12:36 PM  
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12:37 AM  

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