Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Valentino and the V Word


Valentino: It Takes One To Know One

I was reading an article about Italian fashion mogul Valentino, whose opulent and privileged lifestyle in these times of ever-widening gaps betwixt the classes some would call obscene, and he was asked about Paris Hilton, who is marrying the son of Valentino's pal, Greek tycoon Grigoris Kasidokostas.

"She is vulgar," Valentino opined, "And not even very pretty." Bellisimo! What a perfect one-word, two-syllable capsule review of Paris Hilton and what she represents as a symbol of our times.



Vulgar (adj.): 1. Paris Hilton. See also synonyms at entry: "Pauly Shore."

How is Paris vulgar? Let's look it up and compare!

Vulgar (adj.):
1. Crudely indecent (see photo above).
2. a) Deficient in taste, delicacy, or refinement (see all photos and media coverage).
2. b) Marked by lack of good breeding (see Hotel Chains); boorish (see The Simple Life).
2. c) Offensively excessive in self-display (see One Night in Paris sex video) or expenditure; ostentatious (see Paris-Paris wedding plans)[Middle English, from Latin vulgâris, from vulgus, the common people.]

Yes, Vulgar is a great word, especially in these shameless let-it-all-hang-out Vulgarian Times when declasse boys in drop-trou pants openly flaunt their silly boxer shorts and hip hugger-clad tarts brazenly offer sneak peeks of their flimsy thongs. When any and everybody with a digital camera is posting pix of their naughty bits on the Internet (where I admit I WILL look at them, although I realize they ARE vulgar - hey, I'm a guy, by definition an aesthetic hunter and collector of meat, it's in my genetic code!). When the high road of thought-provoking arts and entertainment has been replaced by reality TV and infotainment news segments about celebrities (even on CNN!). When our current "administration" (a term I use loosely, because it does imply the ability to adminster, which the Bushies clearly haven't mastered viz the Iraq War, Abu Ghraib, Katrina, etc.) is the very definition of vulgar pork barrel politics.

The glory days of vulgar were the 1980s and early 1990s, when it popped up frequently in the lyrics and interviews of former Smiths pouter Morrissey, who also had a way with the other V-word, vile.


Moz Knows Vulgar

To wit:

"Paint a Vulgar Picture"(The Smiths)

I'm going to be sick all over your frankly vulgar red pullover(Morrissey, "Our Frank")

I am the son and the heir of a shyness that is criminally vulgar (Smiths, "How Soon Is Now")

What's in a word? In the case of the V-word, everything! 'Nuff said!

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