What's Always True on TV

We hold these truths to be self-evident



I originally saw Mike Steiner's list of trusty television trueisms in HITCH Magazine and immediately cut it out and placed it atop my idiot box, right next to my St. Clare "Patron Saint of Television" statue. Since I can't find it anywhere else on the Internet, I decided to post it here. As I reread it today, I realized that the more things change, the more they stay the same - on TV!

I particularly like:

• Rule #6 - "Teenagers who have sex are destined to die in grotesque ways," which is a basic tenet of all American horror films,


• Rule #21 - "Street vendors' carts are magnetically attracted to high-speed car chases," which happens in every urban cop show in history, and


• Rule #28 - "Somewhere in everybody's house or yard is a hidden gateway to hell or some other extra-dimensional space or parallel universe." I'm still looking for that space, because I think that's where the mice are getting in!