Stereotyping People by Their Favorite...
...Authors, Movies, Directors, Albums, etc.
Texts From Last Night) has a new book out called Judging a Book by Its Lover that caught my eye when I saw the jacket blurb describing it as the "Origin of the Species for the library set."
Since I belong to that set (or is it sect?), I started reading it and was immediately drawn to the chapter entitled "Stereotyping People by Their Favorite Author" (which I quickly shared with my equally amused friends in the Fiction department).
Sample entries follow:
STEREOTYPING PEOPLE BY THEIR FAVORITE AUTHOR
Jane Austen (or Bronte Sisters)
Girls who made out with other girls in college when they were going through a “phase”.
Ninth graders who think they’re going to be authors someday but end up in marketing.
People who can name at least Miyazaki films.
Youth group leaders who picked their nose in the 4th grade.
People who can quote the Comic Book Guy from Simpsons.
People who type like this: OMG. Mah fAvvv <3<3
Workaholics seeking validation.
You get the idea.
The bitterness in me loves stereotypes, so, inspired by her ability to categorize readers in Fortune Cookie-sized text bites, I tried my hand at stereotyping library patrons by their movie and television tastes but it was too painful and reminded me of too many migraines suffered retrieving The Secret for brain-dead would-be entrepreneurs or Tim LaHaye's latest "End Times" "literary" drivel for Born Again religious zealots.
And anyway, others had beaten me to the punch with their snarky lists of how to judge people by their cultural tastes.
Following are some prime examples of pop cultural stereotyping that, in the words of Homer Simpson characterizing "infotainment," are "funny because they're true." Or true-ish!
We start off with Flavorwire's Judy Berman and her funny year-end round-up, "Stereotyping You by Your Favorite Movies of 2010."
STEREOTYPING YOU BY YOUR FAVORITE MOVIES OF 2010
The Social Network
People who are always telling you what critics said about shit.
People with beautiful, undiagnosed anxiety disorders.
Pervs. Seriously, the movie isn’t even out yet. All you know about it is that there’s a steamy sex scene.
People who overuse the question, “Or is it?”
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Girls (and grown women) who hope, deep down inside their souls, that there is more to love than awkward, post-school dance make-outs and nights at home with Netflix and Chinese food.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
Boys (and grown men) who would like to substitute “magic” for “feelings” whenever possible.
Alice in Wonderland
Goths who haven’t actually read Alice in Wonderland.
Women who own signed copies of He’s Just Not That Into You.
Movie guys who refer to their favorite directors by their first name — Martin, Francis, Stanley, etc.
The Ghost Writer
People who want you to know that art and politics are separate, OK? OK!?
Ladies who missed their chance to be high-school rebels.
Dudes who missed their chance to be 20-something… well, anything, really.
Hot Tub Time Machine
People who mistakenly believe the ’80s revival will never die.
Why Did I Get Married Too?
People who are still laughing at “men are like this, women are like that” jokes.
Women who fantasize about Steve Carell, men who fantasize about Tina Fey.
The Human Centipede
Bros who have to follow up all their jokes with “Too far?”
People who fart in public, loudly take credit for it.
Get Him to the Greek
People who are wistful for when we still had rock stars. No, Kings of Leon don’t count.
I Am Love
People who overuse words like “voluptuous” and “decadent.”
The Kids Are All Right
Folks with lots of progressive bumper stickers on their car.
Enter the Void
People who are starting to romanticize their drug years a bit too much.
Never Let Me Go
Readers who “don’t watch a lot of movies.”
Gals who got called sluts in high school, but have grown up to be quite successful, thank you.
People who have been telling you for years that Blake Lively is a good actress, goddammit.
Folks who think owning a Che Guevara shirt makes them radical.
Gay dudes who really wanted to make Showgirls happen again. Guys, Showgirls is once in a lifetime. It’s never happening again.
Love and Other Drugs
Guys who can’t say “viagra” without giggling and the women who love them.
People who don’t understand what performance art is.
STEREOTYPING PEOPLE BY THEIR FAVORITE ALBUMS OF 2010
Ms. Berman also compiled the list "Stereotyping People by Their Favorite Albums of 2010."
STEREOTYPING PEOPLE BY THEIR FAVORITE CHICK FLICK
Ms. Berman augmented her 2010 lists with another great entry, this one called "Stereotyping People by Their Favorite Chick Flick":
Sex and the City
Midwestern career girls saving up to buy Manolos
Sex and the City 2
Culturally insensitive Midwestern career girls saving up to buy fake Manolos
Confessions of a Shopaholic
Women who thought there were too few pretty dresses in SATC
A League of Their Own
Women who get overly excited about poppy movie soundtracks
The Joy Luck Club
White women who believe that all Asian women are quiet, strong, and wise
Dudes who didn’t realize Titanic was going to be a chick flick but aren’t going to front — they kinda teared up a little at the end
Hip, quirky, retro circle skirt-wearing ladies who will call you sexist if you even try to insinuate that Waitress was a chick flick
Sense and Sensibility
People who prefer the term “period drama” to “chick flick”
Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion
Women who have regrets about/don’t remember their teen years
Thelma and Louise
Women you might want to start worrying about
Gay men who have dressed up as Bette Midler… or at least fantasized about it
The Bridges of Madison County
Women who think Clint Eastwood is “still really hot”
The First Wives Club
Cougars who would not be comfortable calling themselves cougars
How Stella Got Her Groove Back
Cougars who totally “own” the title
Rootless urban women who romanticize sturdy, earthy Southern gals and the loyalty they feel toward one another
Waiting to Exhale
Women who identified with Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes, God rest her soul
The Devil Wears Prada
Women who feel for Andy now but will be Miranda in 20 years
The Twilight Saga
Every tween girl in the world and the mother who secretly raids her DVD collection
Women with a foggy understanding of sex work
Maid in Manhattan
Women who aren’t bothered by retrograde class stereotypes and expectations
When Harry Met Sally
Women who make a lot of noise in restaurants and the Billy Crystal-fan men who love them
Valley of the Dolls
Women with a healthy appreciation for camp and their gay best friends
My Best Friend’s Wedding
Women who secretly wish Julia Roberts could just marry the gay best friend, sexual orientation be damned
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
People who like to remind you that it is an “indie film”
Gone with the Wind
Women whose impossibly high romantic standards are, frankly, destroying their lives
Women who appreciate seasonally appropriate marketing
Masochistic always-the-bridesmaid types
Sleepless in Seattle
Women who secretly hope to be proposed to live on The Today Show
Must Love Dogs
Women whose pets will be part of their wedding party
Boys on the Side
Hey, lesbians need chick flicks, too
Bridget Jones’ Diary
Women who keep witty journals they secretly hope someone will read
Postcards from the Edge
Former wild children who have moved to the suburbs
Girls who spend time pondering whether there’s a male term for “shiksa”
Women who say, “I’m gonna be naughty” before reaching for a truffle
He’s Just Not That Into You
That friend who’s always trying to give you relationship advice, despite the fact that you’re engaged and she called you crying last weekend about her fourth break-up of the year
STEREOTYPING PEOPLE BY THEIR FAVORITE DIRECTOR
And for those of you into auteur theory, here's Pomp and Cinema's "Stereotyping People by Their Favorite Director" list:
Indie music fans (although none will fess up to it).
People who haven't seen any movies.
Hipsters who majored in English.
Literary music lovers who aspire to live on the Lower East Side.
Francophiles who are bitter.
Francophiles who are joyous.
People obsessed with Ray Carney.
People REALLY obsessed with Ray Carney and between the ages of 18 and 30.
People who prefer books to movies.
Girls who want to make movies.
M. Night Shyamalan
Kids who want to be the next Spielberg.
Film theory/semiotics students.
Gus van Sant
Martin Scorsese and/or Paul Thomas Anderson
Really angsty film students who probably attend NYU.
DIY types who are too busy making stuff to watch a whole lot of movies.
Very intelligent stoners who secretly wish they were black.
High school art students with piercings and wild hair.
Bros with good senses of humor.
Politically active pinko liberals.
Teenagers who love all things cheesy and forever belong in the 80s.
Kids who've spent most of their lives playing video games.
The Coen Bros.
Cynics with a penchant for old movies.
Gentiles who wouldn't mind being Jewish (and vice versa).
Kids who just got their first camera.
Young anime enthusiasts.
People who insist on demonstrating their cinephilia by incessantly quoting movies.
People who insist on demonstrating their cinephilia by incessantly quoting movies.
People obsessed with their dream lives.