Tom & Amy Remember Adolf Kowalski

He called himself The Living Legend," but since his family didn't publish an obituary (it's, um, complicated), it's up to his friends, lovers and bandmates to insure that he is remembered and that his legacy (good and/or bad, depending on one's point of view) lives on in some form. There's the music, of course; he may be only cremains but the tunes remain...but more than that are the memories gathered here, there and everywhere on social media. Ross Haupt/"Adolf Kowalski" touched many, many lives in Baltimore and across the globe. He certainly touched the lives of me and my wife Amy and was always, without fail, nice to us. Following are our thoughts about his untimely passing from renal failure on March 21, 2023. He was 63 years old.

*********************************************************

Tom Warner (aka "Tommy Gunn," friend and co-founding bandmate in Thee Katatonix)

 March 21, 2023: I heard the news today, oh boy...the King is dead.

Ross Haupt, aka "Adolf Kowalski"

45 years ago, Katie Glancy and I met the young Ross Haupt in the Towson State University Glen, where Katie and he concocted a plan to start a rock and roll band. I came in as part of a package deal with Katie (kind of like a multiplayer MLB trade) because I wanted to go out with her and lied and said I could play drums because, well, how hard could it be in a punk band? (I hadn't yet heard Rat Scabies - dummy me!). Who knew then that Katie & the Katatonix, the fledgling group soon to be rechristened Thee Katatonix, would blossom and grow (like a fungus) and that Ross - soon to be rechristened Adolf Kowalski - would soldier on through the decades and additional bands (All About Suzie, Blunt Force Trauma, etc), never abandoning his career and lifestyle aspirations of being a rock star and Living Legend. Well, he is no longer living but the legend lives on - warts (there were plenty) and all.

The Heroic Trio? Thee Original Katatonix, 1979 (illustration by David Wilcox)

Katie Katatonic, Tommy Gunn  & Adolf Kowalski

Adolf was always fronting the image, but beneath the hubris there was a guy who would do anything for those he loved. He was my confidant in those early band days, the keeper of secrets I'll take to my grave (and vice versa). He once confided, "The old days were best, man"...They were, but they weren't made to last, not at the pace he set. A charmer, a harmer, a lover, a hater, a changer and a re-arranger -  Ross/Adolf was a complex character who found Better Living Thru Chemistry, even when his body disagreed. RIP, old friend. I know you'll be pissed at missing Svengoolie each weekend, but what the hell ya gonna do? Indeed, that was the question when you became financially independent and stopped working: what the hell ya gonna do? There was dope and booze, of course, but given your creative spirit, that wasn't enough. So you poured your energies into some "venture capital" projects, like releasing Katatonix CDs, recording other artists you liked, financing the ill-fated Coffin Cuties magazine and clothing line, going to lots of concerts, and so on. And supporting any friends that needed a helping hand. That's why Robyn Webb once quipped that, while "Adolf Kowalski" could be one of the biggest a-holes on earth, Ross Haupt was the best friend anyone who experienced that side of him could ask for.

The old days were best, man!

Ah, more memories of those good old days...The early Kats did everything together and saw a lot of shows en masse: Blondie/Rockpile at Merriweather, Elvis Costello at Georgetown, The Ramones everywhere. One of the best was Devo at Painter's Mill, December 29, 1978 - when Mark Mothersbaugh came into the audience playing a wireless guitar, Adolf grabbed his ass and tore this piece off his yellow jumpsuit. I treasured it and had it laminated, apparently using a TSU photo laminator!

Mark Mothersbaugh's Devo suit

When the Cramps played the Marble Bar, we all went and I recall Lux Interior leaning over the stage to swipe Adolf's sunglasses (worn, as the song goes, after dark) and put them on his head. Adolf was touched. 

I'll never forget Adolf picking us up at my parent's house to go to the Preakness in May 1980. He showed up in a full-length blue polka-dot raincoat with a cowboy hat and dark sunglasses and announced that he had just dropped acid for the occasion. ("You gonna be alright with him driving?" my sister Nancy asked. "Sure, what could go wrong?" I naively replied.) We sat in the kitchen watching John Lydon and PiL wreaking havoc on Dick Clark's American Bandstand. It set the tone for the day.

Then there were the infamous shows in D.C. At Madam's Organ in Adam's Morgan we debuted "I Hate D.C." to a less than receptive audience (go figure!) in a shitshow of a performance that found us all suffering from Montezuma's Revenge after our suspect pre-show dinner; we couldn't wait to get off the stage and back to the grimy bathroom. And our show at Scandals caused a riot that shut the place down. But trouble was already brewing before the gig when Adolf - driving Katie, me and new recruit Steevie Squeegee (Mike Milstein) - around Georgetown, sarcastically complimented some Marines on their crewcuts - the irate grunts chased us around for blocks. Not done with antagonizing the Armed Services, on the same trip Adolf also drove by a midnight screening of The Empire Strikes Back and, seeing a line of people waiting to get in, shouted out his spoiler "Darth Vader is Luke's father!" Again, the audience was less than receptive. But that was Adolf. No matter where you were, you had to be ready for an adventure.

Front Page Story: Adolf's "Boogie Nights" profile (City Paper, 1981)

Of all the achievements in his tragically short life - founding Towson's first (and Baltimore's 2nd) punk band, backing Edith Massey, touring SanFran and the UK, playing the Mudd Club, running for Guv'nor, releasing a cult LP (DIVINE MISSION) that goes for hundreds of bucks in Europe, winning those Battle of the Bands contests, the media accolades (who can forget Pam Purdy's "Boogie Nights" profile for the Baltimore City Paper?) - I think Adolf may have been most proud of winning the Dundalk Eagle's "Best Chili in Dundalk" award last year on “21222 Day.” (Dundalk celebrated a once-in-a-century date that Saturday, when the date, abbreviated as 2/12/22, matched Dundalk’s main ZIP code, 21222.) Of course, we “rocked” the vote (much as years ago we got “Katie Katatonic” elected “Homecoming Queen” by canvasing the Towson State campus with “Vote for the Punk” flyers!) It made the front page with the accompanying photo. Too bad he cannot defend his title.

Flanked by event organizers Peggy Sue Oliphant (left) and Will Feur (right), Adolf Kowalski takes home the cash prize for winning the “21222 Day” Dundalk chili cook-off (Dundalk Eagle photo by Dan Belson)

Kathleen Glancy Milstein (nee Katie Katatonic) just reminded me of another Adolf Kowalski achievement in his CV: He won the 1977 "Best Punk Costume" prize at the Iggy Pop/Ramones/Crack the Sky show at the Civic Center. This was before either of us had yet met him! But even then he was "in it to win it."

Best Punk Costume winner, 1977

His look changed constantly over the years from that initial bad boy punk style, but the attitude always remained the same. 

Adolf, hair-bent for leather

Adolf, "philosopher king and the boy most likely to" (City Paper photo by Jennifer Bishop)

I particularly liked his Prince Valiant look when the Kats went into their psychedelic flower-power phase.

Before he was King...Adolf as Prince Valiant, at a 1980s New Year's Eve Party…

Adolf, you left us too soon and took away all those great memories of "the good old days." I will miss your anecdotes, your wit, and your sense of humor. But hey, you went out on your terms, living the high life and going for the gusto. Living fast and, well, dying young. It’s kinda cliche, but it’s  “The Rock ‘n’ Roll Way.”

***********************************************

Amy Warner (nee Davis, nee Linthicum; friend and former Dundalk High schoolmate)

Ross Haupt before the transformation…into Adolf Kowalski

Way back in the Dark Ages when I was in high school, I was friends with this guy Ross. He was likeable, kinda pudgy, quite smart. We liked the same music. That's how you bonded with people in those days. He took me to my first rock concert (Kiss), and my second (Queen). Then I went off to college in southern Maryland and we lost touch. Then either through a chance encounter or a phone call, I forget which, we were communicating again. He told me he was now calling himself Adolf Kowalski and fronting a band, Thee Katatonix, and he invited me to see them at the Marble Bar. I didn't drive back then, and I actually took public transportation to go and check them out. But alas, something happened and they didn't play that night. That was my first visit to the Marble. I did see them play soon enough, and was amazed at the transformation of Ross into this gaunt, theatrical and somewhat threatening persona. Adolf was always pissing people off, and would say and do things that would make me cringe. He could be quite rude. Yet he was always so generous to me, and to Tom. I remember a few years ago he plucked us out of the crowd at The Damned show, and put us where he was, with the unobstructed view. He offered to send us on a honeymoon... I wouldn't have met Tom Warner (Kats' drummer), or my first husband [Mark Linthicum, aka “Mark Harp” or “Harpo”], or any of my Marble friends if I didn't know him...so I will miss Adolf; I will miss Ross. R.I.P. my friend.

Thee Katatonix: A Long Time Ago

 

Thee Katatonix - "A Long Time Ago" CD (2022)

I'm enjoying listening to A LONG TIME AGO, the Katatonix CD recorded live (at Cal Ripken Jr's old hangout Club Razzmatazz?) "a long time ago" (1984? 1985?) I just got in the mail from the "born-again" Adolf Kowalski who, according to the Dundalk Eagle, now goes by the name "Reverend Ross" of the Universal Life Church. 

As a bonus, the self-financed release is actually a picture disc, depicting then-bandmates Mr Urbanity (lead guitar & vocals), Big Andy Small (drums), and Rockin St Anthony (the bassist who once cured a ham). (Does the hole in the middle represent the "Big A Hole"? Jes' kidding, Adolf...)

Big Andy, St Anthony and Mr Urbanity are picture-disc perfect

A LONG TIME AGO captures that transitional period between thee original Kats cock-rock thrash-punk output (as first heard on vinyl on the 1983 "Valentine's Day" EP) and the more sophisticated, psychedelic-leaning songwriting of 1984's DIVINE MISSION LP that would soon enough blossom into full-on psychedelia during the mid-80s Paisley Underground revival (viz "Daisy Chain," "Ordinary Sunday," "Crown," "Something For You" et al). 

Divine Mission (UK Spud, 1984)

Whereas the 30th anniversary release THANKS HON (2009) was a 50/50 split between tunes by songwriting guitarists Adolf Kowalski and Mr Urbanity...

Thanks Hon, 30th Anniversary CD (2009)

...this live setlist is still dominated by fearless founding leader Kowalski. Sure, there's Urbanity's "Chain Letter," Not In Love" "and "Formula For Our Happiness" (co-written with Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, no less!) from DIVINE MISSION, as well as the that album's Kowalski-Urbanity co-writes "Maison Le Rock" and "Better Living Through Chemistry," but "Your Mother," "Buy Our Record," the encore "I Got VD Again" (based on a true story?) - all new to these ears! - and "Joie de Vivre" (from the '83 EP) are all (for better or worse!) pure Adolf K. And that's not to mention the half-dozen vintage tunes rescued from the original Tommy Gunn-Katie Katatonic-Adolf K Era (circa '79-'80) and played here by real musicians: "My Son the Gynecologist," "Basket Case," "Fungus," "Valentine's Day," "I Don't Wanna Marry a Dyke," and the heart-of-darkness psychobilly joyride that became the "cleaned-up" "Cindy On I-95." 

Original Kats Trio, circa '79-'80

Admittedly, "(You Grow On Me Like a) Fungus," a 1979 Kowalski-Tommy Gunn original, should be co-credited to Urbanity who pulled it into the garage for a quick remake/remodel and refurbished it as a road-worthy psychedelic trip.

"Recorded Live A Long Time Ago" is Something For You

There are also two cover songs here, Hank Williams' "She Thinks I Still Care" and an encore rendition of the Stones' "Mother's Little Helper" (again foreshadowing the pills-a-go-go psychedelic trip the Kats were about to embark on).

Katatonix created a scandal during their Aug. '80 Scandals appearance

"Vamp" is just a 28-second aside, a shout-out to the night the Tom-Katie-Steevee Squeegee edition Kats (Summer 1980) got banned for "inciting a riot" at the DC dive Scandals (oh well, as the saying goes, when it comes to promoting fact or fiction, print the legend!) All in all, pretty impressive. Or, as an earlier Kowalski title put it, this labor-of-love freebie release truly is "Something For You."

The Baltimore-Washington Rockway: Singles Going Steady

A Look Back - and Forward - at Tru Fax & Dark Carnival

Following are some thoughts about some tracks lost between the cracks of time, a celebration of some great local music by Tru Fax and Dark Carnival that I've been too lazy to review - until now!

Tru Fax & The Insaniacs @ 2013 SoWeBo Festival

Just the Fax, Ma'am!
Running into the perpetually perky Diana Quinn at the Black Cat club in Washington, D.C. last week (for the first stop of Buzzcocks's 2014 North American Tour) reminded me that I was criminally negligent for not reviewing the latest music from her classic and long-running D.C. pop quartet, Tru Fax & The Insaniacs. You see, I bought a 5-song CD-EP ( a steal at $5!) from Diana back in May when her group played the 2014 SoWeBohemian Festival.

The Mighty Quinn: The perpetually perky rocker Diana Quinn

Way back when I played drums (if that's what you want to call my limp-wristed attempts at keeping a beat) in Towson's first punk band Thee Katatonix (circa 1979-1980), we were good friends with the Insaniacs - they were our favorite D.C. group (along with The Slickee Boys and Black Market Baby, natch) and I was particularly close to Libby Hatch, the original Insaniacs bass player (formerly of The Shirkers) who tragically passed away before her time after a 1998 motorcycle accident. Perhaps the Kats bonded with the Fax because we were both underdogs whose technical ability was sometimes questioned in the early days: Katatonix frontman Adolf Kowalski used to boast, "We're the worst, that makes us the best!" while Washingtonian Magazine actually named Tru Fax the District's "Worst Band" of 1980. For their part, the Insaniacs wore the dubious award as a badge of honor, even flaunting their status as "Washington's Award Winning Band"! in their fliers, as shown below:

Tru Fax: "Hear Them Do Their Worst!"

Perhaps it was this self-effacing, ego-free attitude that so endeared them to me. Despite having two "rock chicks" in the early lineup, their onstage vibe was always that of cool nerds, like something out of a Daniel Pinkwater young adult novel, rather than "New Wave Punks." Back then, now noticeably slimmer guitarist David Wells was roly-poly and bespectacled, while Michael Mariotte wore big, thick tortoise-shell specs that made him look more like an accountant than a rock & roll drummer. They didn't care; the band was about making pop music and having fun, not putting on airs and copping attitudes.

"We adhere to the original punk ideals of musical simplicity, purity, and high satire, and we're committed to having fun." - Tru Fax Mission Statement

Their sound was accurately characterized by Silver Spring Penguin blogger Jennifer Deseo as "a mixture of buzzsaw guitars and Debbie Harry vocals...a gritty sound juxtaposed with a bubbly beat" accompanied by "cheeky irony that makes punk deliciously irreverent" ("Local Licks: Tru Fax and the Insaniacs," March 28, 2008). Deseo added that songs like "Betsy's Dressed Up," "Friday" and "Pictures Of You" mirrored the punk end of Blondie's Parallel Lines (a list to which I would add the new song "Quarry House," with its soaring "Atomic" vocals intro). "Other tunes - 'King of Machines' and 'Washingtron' nod at Stooges," she continued, "and 'Love Love Love' is a gabba-gabba-hey! away from The Ramones." So Tru(e)!

Listen to "Love Love Love."



The Debbie Harry-style singing of Diana Quinn is an especially spot-on comparison, but as far as songwriting goes, my girlfriend Amy had an even better analogy. "Diana Quinn is either the Ceil Strakna of D.C. or Ceil Strakna is the Diana Quinn of Baltimore!" she observed one day. The comparison to former Boy Meets Girl and Big As a House singer-songwriter-guitarist Ceil Strakna is apt, as both ladies had the song-writing chops to match their outstanding vocals.

Charm City's Diana Quinn: Ceil Strakna fronting Boy Meets Girl

And it doesn't stop there: Diana also plays in two side bands, the retro/alt Honky Tonk Confidential and the '60s "Girl Sound" ensemble The Fabulettes.

Tru Fax would soldier on after Libby Hatch with various other bass players (Jamie Cramer is the latest) and Diana would win a 1998 WAMMIE (Washington Area Music Association award) for Best Rock/Pop Female Vocalist, but over the years I lost track of them. Until, thanks to the encouragement of the Kats' Adolf Kowalski, Tru Fax rekindled memories of their late-70s/early 80's brilliance by once again gigging in Charm City with the Kats, first at the Metro Gallery in February 2013 and then at the 2013 and 2014 SoWeBohemian Festivals. (Diana also performed at the 2013 Honfest in Hampden with her swinging '60s "Girl Group Sound" band The Fabulettes.)

Watch Tru Fax play at the 2013 SoWeBo Festival.



Watch Tru Fax play "Chinese Wall" at the 2014 SoWeBo Festival.



Though they only released one album (1982's Mental Decay on Wasp Records, with Tim Carter on bass guitar) and one classic 45 (1980's "Washingtron" b/w "Mystery Date" on Wasp Records), Diana reports that a new CD is in the works for release in the fall of 2014.

Tru Fax's "Washington" 45 (Wasp Records, 1980)

Tru Fax's "Mental Decay" LP (Wasp Records, 1982)

This is good news, very good news indeed! (According to their official web site, Tru Fax had originally planned to release a CD in 2007 that would have included their vinyl 45 and album, plus eight new songs, but it never came to pass. So far, only four Tru Fax songs - live versions of "King of Machines," "Chinese Wall," "T.V. Me," and "Washingtron" - have appeared on a commercially available CD, 1997's hard-to-find 9:30 LIVE!: A Time, A Place, A Street 2-disc set, recorded during the final days of D.C.'s old 9:30 club.)

9:30 LIVE! CD (1997, Genes Records)

Perhaps now, since their long player Mental Decay only came out on vinyl, there will finally be digital versions of that album's "Love, Love, Love," "What the World Needs Now," and "Mars Needs Women" for the world-at-large (at least the world beyond The District) to enjoy at last! And maybe (please!) that Killer B-side "Mystery Date"?

I'm a secret admirer of Tru Fax's "Mystery Date"

According to recent posts on the Tru Fax Facebook page, we can count on the following songs to appear on the new CD: "Beautiful World," "Pictures of Dorian Gray," and hopefully personal fave "Chinese Wall."

In the meantime, here's are some more clues to what we can expect from the Insaniacs based on their latest EP teaser release.


TRU FAX & THE INSANIACS
5-Song CD EP (2014)

Tru Fax & The Insaniacs 5-song CD EP

1. "Washingtron" (2014 update)

We're all Washingtrons!

This sounds like a beefed-up, slightly faster re-recording of the 1980 original that became an instant anthem for all residents of The District. (Of course, I may be wrong - since I no longer have a phonograph that works, I can't compare it to the original 45. If it's not a rerecording, then the original is holding up very well!) Diana adds some additional patter and vocal dubs, but this is still basically the unadulterated timeless classic that remains as relevant today as almost 35 years ago, even with all its time-topical references ("Accu-tron watches" and the movie Tron - of course!).

Over crunching guitars, Diana states the case for D.C.'s conflicted white-collar workers who want to pursue idealistic-elitist dreams but often end up as anonymous cogs in a dreary bureaucratic machine:

"We don't know nothing, we want to know less
It's all too hard, the world's a mess - it's not our fault
The things they told us turned out to be lies
We know the truth has got to be disguised - for our protection
Just wanna make it but before it's spent
I wanna live a life that's Heaven sent" 

It all leads up to Mariotte's driving beat signaling the famous chorus:

"I used to work as a waitron in the lounge of the Hiltron
Now I work for my Senatron and I live in Arlingtron
I'm just a Washingtron, we're all Washingtrons, Washingtrons"

It's great to have a anthem that defines your city. Diana's done that cheekily for DC, in the same way Blammo's "Sweet Home Balt-amore" has defined Baltimore as The City That Bleeds or KISS has defined Detropia as "Detroit Rock City."


2. "Britney Spears"

"Of all the jilted Mouseketeers, I love to hate for Britney Spears"

This must be a few years old, because Britney Spears today is "so 15 minutes ago," but nonetheless it's a blistering skewering of today's cookie cutter talent-challenged pop divas. Or, as Diana sings:

"Pop culture doesn't make any sense, made up of starlets with lots of pretense
American Idols who don't know how sing, rock stars who just go bling, bling, bling"

Britney Spears: Mother of the Year?

Diana continues,

The thing that really baffles me, makes me wanna drink, makes me wanna flee
No matter when I flip on my TV, all I see is Britney
I wanna smash the television, toss my fanzine
Watch a train collison, take some Thorazine
Get a missile launcher, shoot down a satellite
Yeah I think I wanna pick a fight

Erstwhile Mouseketeer Britney Spears

Of all the jilted Mouseketeers, I love to hate for Britney Spears
I hate to love for Britney Spears, I hate to hate for Britney Spears

Who cares if she's a bad mom, likes a line of coke with her cheese and salam?
I don't think she's such a cutie when she flashes me her waxed patootie

I love the sentiments behind this melodic rant, and look for future put-downs of here-today/gob-tomorrow disposable pop stars like Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus and their twerk-and-roll ilk.

3. "Mental Decay"

"Now that I'm older, I'm falling apart"

Though its the title of their 1982 long player, this marks the first appearance of a lyrically clever song every Baby Boomer can relate to.


When I was younger, I used to be smart
Now that I'm older, I'm falling apart
I just can't seem to cogitate smart
My cerebellum, it's not in my heart

I'm getting slow, I'm getting slow
I'm getting stupid you know

As I get older, I seem to think less
I can't do addition, my life is a mess
My intellect's lacking, I'm outta control
The Gallup Poll asks me, I answer 'I dunno'

I don't know, uh, uh...
'What's the capital of the Soviet Union?'
'Is it Russia?' I just don't know!

What's the question again? Where am I?

I've got my eyes in circles, I listen to KISS
I know I'm demented, but isn't it bliss?
I'm getting senile, this mental decay
My favorite expression is 'Have a nice day!"

The lyrics ring all too true for this AARP member, and David Wells' rollicking guitar solo proves that he, for one, isn't suffering from any osteoarthritis.

4. "Quarry House"

The Quarry House Tavern in Silver Spring, MD

After a soaring vocals opening (think Debbie Harry-circa-"Atomic"), Diana pips "Welcome to Silver Spring!" before singing the praises of the Quarry House Tavern, a "dive bar" in Silver Spring, MD, that's popular with musicians and fans of rockabilly music.

If you're not in the mood, sick of culture and fine food
Want a place that's full of paramours and dudes
Where the johns are lacking clean, and the staff's a little lean

In a town named for a spring
Full of shops and movies and bling
Beneath the surface hell, there's a clientele strangely warming

Don't you need a place to hide, from the everlasting tide
Where nobody seems to notice life's not perfect?

Only a band with Punk/New Wave street cred can do justice to a skewering of DC's yuppified suburban paradise, and Diana & Co. don't disappoint as they find a place more to their calling, an even more underground 9:30 Club for those outsiders who do notice that's "life's not perfect" - and are glad of it!

Silver Spring: The kind of place where life is worth living

5. "Message To You"
 

This is Tru Fax's hilarious parody of those infamous  "419 scams" - you know, the fraudulent advance-fee mail or e-mail requests (similar to the "Spanish Prisoner" scams of the late 19th century) often associated with foreign nations like Nigeria (419 is the section of the Nigerian Criminal Code dealing with fraud). Famous variations feature either a Nigerian Prince or royal family member requesting financial assistance from you - yes you! - because not only do "we hear you are confident and have strict criteria" but we're hoping you're also very stupid! After all, who wouldn't want to send money to a total stranger promising untold riches - it's a no-brainer, n'est pas?!?

To assist an unfortunate widow, we came across your address
And crave your kind indulgence, with this very important business
My father was a wealthy man, he died in a plane crash
Can you please help me with a transfer, 'cause I really need the cash

CHORUS:
This is a message to you, please sincerely respond
We seek your cooperation, from way across the Pond

Please observe with confidentiality
I'll provide you with hospitality
100 million dollars we guarantee
60 for you and 40 for me

We hear that you are confident, and have some strict criteria
Please don't forget to send the fee to my bank here in Nigeria

This is a funny song with beautiful guitar strumming.

*****************

DARK CARNIVAL
"Book of Love" b/w "Second Chance"
Limited edition red vinyl 7"
(Merkin Records, 1989)

"Book of Love/Second Chance" 45 (Merkin Records, 1989)

I mentioned before how the (thee?) Katatonix connection helped rekindle memories of the criminally neglected tunes of Tru Fax & Co. Well, they also helped stir memories of another criminally neglected local band from that era called Dark Carnival. You see, two outstanding staples of Thee Kats' live shows over the years have been "Book of Love" (especially during their neo-psych phase) and "Second Chance," and both poptastic tunes were penned by lead guitarist Charlie Gatewood (aka "Mr. Urbanity") dating back to his late '80s days leading this Kats spin-off group whose ranks included Katatonix drummer "Big" Andy Small and bass player Ken Malecki.

In 1989, Baltimore's Merkin Records released a limited edition red vinyl 7" of the two songs. "Book of Love" was technically the A-side but, like classic era Buzzcocks "singles-going-steady," it was basically a double A-side release, with the songwriting quality making this arguably the greatest post-punk record ever to come out of Charm City. (Berserk's 1991 "Giant Robots/When I Think" 7", also on Merkin, begs to be part of this discussion as well!) (For D.C., the best single debate would come down to Tru Fax's "Washingtron/Mystery Date" versus Tommy Keene's "Back To Zero/Mr. Roland.")

Despite that, this rare collectible is virtually impossible to find on the open market, unless you want to fork over $15 for a German distributor import. I recall buying a copy from the band when they played a record-release show at the Galaxy Ballroom back in the day, but alas, it's long been lost in the black hole that is my vinyl 45 collection (shame too, because it came with a lyric sheet insert that rightly puts the spotlight on Urbanity's urbane wordplay).

What makes this single so, um, singular, is that both tunes merrily spin around the record player with nary a stitch: there is no filler, no dead space, no wasted lines. Pop perfection in just a little over three minutes flat: songwriting craft at its best.

A-Side: "Book of Love"

Fast-tempo guitar and drums race through this pop confection as Mr. Urbanity sings "I want to read the Book of Love/I want to see what you know between the pages." On the bridge, Gatewood throws in a change-of-pace reggae guitar riff (think Jonathan Richman's "Egyptian Reggae") that shows the influence of this musical style on the eclectic guitarist. (When I first met Charlie Gatewood at Towson State University circa 1980, he was working at a record store and always talked enthusiastically about reggae records - that is, before he discovered the similar joys of punk, New Wave, and post-punk while playing in Thee Katatonix.)

Watch Thee Katatonix play "Book of Love."



A version of "Book of Love" also appears on Thee Katatonix's Thanks Hon, 30th Anniversary CD (U.K. Spud, 2009). The Katatonix version is notable for adding keyboards to Dark Carnivals's guitar-only propelled mix. Both versions are outstanding and compliment one another.

B-Side: "Second Chance"

Watch Thee Katatonix play "Second Chance."




Mr. Urbanity's paen to love-at-second-sight reflects its subject's immediacy, the Boy Meets Girl rush best deconstructed by The Kinks as "Girl-I-want-to-be-with-you-all-of-the-time/All-day-and-all-of-the-night."

The song opens with the fairly typical rush-of-crush lyrics...

I don't wanna have took everywhere to find you
I don't wanna have to look anywhere at all
I was looking through the photographs
Yeah I think you're unforgettable
And I wanna see you once again for a laugh 

Look out, look out, here I come again
I wanna see you, I wanna talk to you
I wanna love you to the end

With breakneck speed, the tune continues, with Urbanity's words adding, on second pass, more indelible images:

I was looking through the photographs
And I think you're almost edible
And I wanna see you once again for a laugh 

Look out, look out, you know I'm gonna call
I wanna hold you, I wanna scold you, I wanna have it all!

The track's opening and closing guitar onslaught signals the obvious effect playing harder-edged riffs in Thee Katatonix had on Urbanity.

Merkin Records Seedy Sampler (1989)

Another Dark Carnival song, the industrial-toned "Back to the Factory," appears on the 1989 Merkin Records Seedy Sampler album. Despite the exceptional pedigree of Gatewood's songwriting and the band's musicianship, Dark Carnival's back catalog consists of just these three songs. Alas. Gatewood and Small eventually returned to the Katatonix fold, where Mr. Urbanity's melodic pop tendencies and image-packed lyrics (especially on songs like "Ordinary Sunday," "Shake, Shake" and "Daisy Chain") - and Small's rock-solid beat - continue to shine.

Note: Should you try to track down Baltimore's Dark Carnival records, be sure not to confuse them with Detroit's Dark Carnival, a band featuring ex-Destroy All Monsters singer Niagra and ex-Stooges Ron and Scott Ashton.

The other Dark Carnival: I'm pretty sure that's not Mr. Urbanity in heels!

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Related Links:
Tru Fax and The Insaniacs (Facebook)
Tru Fax and The Insaniacs (www.trufax.com)
Tru Fax and the Insaniacs (My Space) (there are lots of videos here!)
Tru Fax & The Insaniacs (15 tracks to hear @ ohmytracks.com)
Radio Baltimore: Tru Fax & The Insaniacs (Mobtown Shank)

Adolf Kowalski's "Maryland Musician" Column

Back in the '80s, I used to love reading Adolf Kowalski's column in Maryland Musician. I used to clip 'em and save 'em each month, but can't seem to find any these days. I think they were discovered by the stink bugs and squirrels in my attic who lacked an appreciation of fine literature (except as snacks). I did manage to salvage this column from 1988 called "It's the Little Things or Kiss My Axe," wherein Adolf says you don't have to have some tricked-up Guitar Magazine-lauded superguitar to be superbad; anything will do as long as it's got six strings. (I was gonna say, "and know how to play," but Half Japanese dispelled that fallacy!)