Sunday, July 22, 2007

Dundalk Heritage Fair 2007

Cleaning out my digital camera, I ran across my pix from the July 4th-timed Dundalk Hairitage Festival earlier this month. Observations: the free books stand was deserted while the kiosk selling Nascar- and Harley Davidson-themed leather belts and chain wallets was packed to the gills. Need I say more?

People who attend the Dundalk festival also have some of the dumbest and ugliest tattoos I've ever seen. Unlike the Hampden hipsters who go for irony or pretentiousness with their state-of-the-art ink, the standard bearers in Dundalk seem to be either spoon-fed corporate media iconography (i.e., Disney characters) or old school standards like Harley-Davidson, Jack Daniels or other mind-numbingly obvious banners of machismo or wantoness. I did see one teen with a pink mohawk wearing a rather cool DEVO t-shirt, so there is hope (though I hope the kid gets a new barber).

Amy likes 'em big and stupid.
Uncle Sam was at the fair to recruit future casualties in Iraq.

Selling crack, Dundalk-style.
(I had to take this photo fast, as I didn't want to get pulverized by this hon's boyfriend.)

More Dundalk cracks. Notice the bad shoulder tats.

Ink That Stinks: More bad tattoos.
This one looks almost looks like leiderhosen. Dude just needs some black socks inked in.

Black velvet art, Dundalk-style.
Tony Shore won this year's Sondheim Award for his black velvet paintings, yet these equally beautiful canine studies are somehow considered kitsch. Go figger.

Amy has a hard time picking her fave escapist velvet painting. Tiger? Horsey? Dolphin?

Monkey Man explains Theory of De-Evolution.

Monkey Man Recruiting Disciples.

Soo Wee - Pig Races!
Despite squeals of protest from the crowd, the competition was limited to female livestock.

Hog tied, but not for long...

And they're off!

I lost my life savings (roughly $117) betting on this glorified slab of bacon. Just as my ponies fared at Pimlico, Porky came in dead last.

The only thing horrifying about this ride was the admission price.

This woman's Crystal Gayle-length hair was scarier than anything in the TOMB OF DOOM!

But this was the ride that truly TERRIFIED me.

Amy made me ride the Ferris Wheel.
Other than getting a bird-eye's view of the ample rack on a MILF below, I found this ride only slightly more exciting than the Moon Bounce.

Political Incorrectness at Ollies.
My Asian girlfriend was not offended by Ollie's bargain prices!

Political Incorrectness at Ollies, Redux.
No wonder mexicans hate us so much!

The Strand Theatre is now a Family Dollar.
On our way out, we stopped by what was once the grand Strand Theatre. I remember sitting in the balcony and watching Thunderball back in 1965. Yes, I'm old.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you really think ironic, pseudo-pretentious "body art" is preferable to a sincere tattoo? Most tattoos are pretty stupid, but if I had to choose, I'd have to say a redneck guy with a full-back Harley tattoo is superior to a young Hampden hipster gal with some Kozik drawing permanently etched on her arm. The former will have that until he dies; the latter will have it removed when she discovers it'll interfere with having to get a "real" job when she gets to be about 30.

Preferable to either of them, though, would be an authentic jailhouse tattoo, probably lopsided and out of proportion, made by an untrained guy with a ballpoint pen and a sewing needle.

11:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You step foot in Dundalk you're Dundalk. Your like the guy at the KKK get together complaining about the racists.

11:24 AM  

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