Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Happy 50th Birthday Dave Cawley!

World's Oldest Pre-pubescent Hits Half-Century Mark!
(September 6, 1961 - Present)

Last Year's Model: the 49-yr-old Dave Cawley was a "Page 3" tabloid beefcake featured in Style Magazine

Tuesday, September 6, 1961: a day that will live in infamy! Yes, now it can be told! Two score and 10 years ago, in a little log cabin in the verdant suburban sprawl of Lutherville, little John David Cawley was born as his awe-struck parents cried, "For what we are about to receive, may we truly give thanks!" And they did - truly, deeply, madly. As did the rest of the world (with only a few exceptions - like his nemeses the International Cilantro Growers Association, Frank Zappa, Joe Strummer and The Clash, "Rob the Bully," hippies, the National Football League, The Michael Bolton and Dave Matthews Anti-Defamation Leagues, etc., etc.). The rest, as they say, is History. And what exactly is his story, anyway?

Like Freddie Mercury, Dave Cawley warns Father Time: "Don't stop me now, yes I'm having a good time!"

We know the man-child now known simply as David Cawley (he dropped the J.D. nickname to avoid confusion with fellow musician/know-it-all J.D. Considine, as well as the abbreviation for those potty-mouthed Juvenile Delinquents he so detests!) as a lover of This TV, Mod, The Beatles, Buzzcocks, James Bond, Yukio Mishima, Dragnet, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Twilight Zone, The Outer Limits, The Nutty Professor, Universal horror movies, pulp fiction, Modesty Blaise, true crime stories, film noir, Mickey Spillane, chicken teriyaki, any recipe involving duck, Vanilla Coke, heavily sweetened bladder-buster-sized cups of hot coffee, unsweetened ice tea, Gin & Tonics shaken 'n' stirred by the Club Charles' buxotic bartenders, Batman, Spider-man, Zatoichi, Godzilla, Ultraman, Kamen Rider, Mazinger, Gigantor, Astroboy, Johnny Sokko, giant robots, giant monsters, classic Marvel and DC comics (especially Steve Ditko and Jack Kirby), classic Little Lulu and Tubby comics, clothing with "clean neat lines (like My Three Sons)," vintage automobiles unspoiled by such "modern" contrivances as air conditioning or heat or horsepower, and basically All Things Japanese - especially his muse Kumi Mizuno, who Dave calls "The kind of woman men like!"

Kumi Mizuno with friend

But what do we really know of this man of mystery, this enigma, this anomaly who could pass as a doppleganger for Jerry Lewis, Project Runway's Vincent Libretti or Dublin Bohemians soccer coach Pat Fenlon (or - in Dave's dreams - Harrison Ford)? For isn't he a mild-mannered insurance claims adjuster by day who transforms into a ring-a-ding-a-linger swinger by night, a go-go tyger tyger burning bright in the cities of the night, one who's out dancing up a storm and tripping the light fantastic at Baltimore hipster hep-spots like the Sidebar's Reaction! parties and Lithuanian Hall's Soul Night - that is, when he's not defying gravity and all known laws of Newtonian and Quantum physics with his skyward leaps whilst plucking his Hofner bass with such rock bands as the Nu-Beats, Berserk and Garage Sale?

Dave Cawley dispenses the sweet rock with Garage Sale

How, you rightly ask, can one ever know the true workings of a mind that reads former Three Stooges stooge Joe Besser's autobiography More Than a Stooge not once, not twice, but thrice?? Yet verily it is the same cerebellum that is versed not just in Stan Lee comic word balloon vernacular ("Nuff said," "It's clobbering time!," "I envy you, dear reader,") but also fluent in Russian and Japanese? The guy who can explain everything you want to know about Futurism but doesn't own a computer and isn't on Facebook? The he-manchild who once arm-wrestled middle-aged action star Tura Satana (Faster Pussycat Kill Kill!, Astro-Zombies) to a hard-fought standstill at the Chiller Theater Convention (see "Freaks, Geeks & Scream Queen Peeks" for a blow-by-blow account) yet couldn't manage to wash his own dishes without lacerating his hands.

Dave arm wrestles Tura Satana at Chiller Con

Ah, these are but broad strokes of the paintbrush, gross generalizations about the man-child who is David Cawley. For I know him as a dear friend who at his core is kind, polite, humble, selfless and self-effacing. The kind of guy who'd give you his coveted copy of The Dylan Dog Omnibus, come back from the Belgian Comic Museum with treasured Tintin tchokes for his friends, and give away his beloved Inframan special issue of Oriental Cinema to help spread the gospel of Hong Kong-interpreted, Japanese-style tokusatsu vs. kaiju eiga.

Dave Cawley and his fellow heroic man of mystery, Batman

No, the secret meaning of the ageless "kid at heart" Dave Cawley is this: he's The Boy with the Biggest Heart in the World. (So move over Amazing Colossal Man - you've got competition!) If it sounds like one of the films Turner Classic Movies is running today during it's sci-fi/monster movie marathon in unwitting homage to sci-fi/monster movie-loving Dave Cawley (The Thing from Another World, The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, Them!, The Black Scorpion, Forbidden Planet, etc.), it's no accident. For Big Dave Cawley is truly bigger than life itself in that department. (That's just my opinion - but accurate!)

"What's 50 down? Wait - oh my God it's me!"

OK, this tribute is starting to sound a little homo-erotic (like that gay scene between Laurence Olivier and Tony Curtis in Spartacus!), so enough of this nonsense and on to some pics and videos I humbly offer up to celebrate Big Dave Cawley's Big Semicentennial Birthday Celebration!

Dave Cawley Celebrity Lookalikes:

Was Dave Cawley separated at birth from these celebs? Only his Style magazine stylist knows for sure!

Jerry Lewis?

Jerry says: "That's my boy!"

Vincent Libretti (Project Runway)?

Vince says: "I'm a younger, hipper Dave Cawley!"

Watch this videoclip and decide: is it Vince or Dave?

Pat Fenlon (Irish soccer coach)?

"Stop the game, there's cilantro on the pitch!"

Tura Satana?

Dave Cawley: Queen of Men?

"Oh Tom, I see NO similarity at all to these poseurs - except to Harrison Ford!"

Harrison Ford?

Harrison says: "In your dreams, Dave!"

Dave Meets Buzzcocks & His Idol, Steve Diggle:

Dave: "Pete Shelley's OK, but you're the man Steve-o!"

Tom & Amy hover while Steve and Dave have a heated debate over whose jacket is more mod: Diggle's leather or Dave's Ben Sherman windbreaker

Dave tells Steve Diggle the correct way to play "Autonomy"

Photogenic new 'cocks Chris (L) & Danny (R) ugly up to try & make Dave Cawley (center) look good. They failed.

Dave Cawley Videos:

Watch DC make fun of Rob Hornung's sax playing.

Watch Garage Sale play DC ditty "I Suppose."

Watch "Dave Cawley and the Art of Modern Prance" (YouTube)

Watch Dave Cawley Go-Go Dance with Monsters from the Surf

Watch Berserk play DC's "My Love Is So Big." (a Skizz Cyzyk video)

Listen to Berserk play DC's anthemic "Giant Robots."

Watch Berserk play DC's "Ultra 7".

Final Birthday Wishes:

Hats off to Big Dave Cawley, King of Men!


A week after his 50th birthday, a contemplative Dave Cawley finally understands it all. "Older, yes," he muses, "But also wiser, my friends. Just my opinion, of course - but accurate!"

Related "Dave Cawley Semicentennial Celebration" Links:
Happy Birthday Dave Cawley! (2010)
Happy Birthday Dave Cawley, King of Men (Baltimore Or Less)
The Dave Cawley Songbook
"Project Cawley: Flying Under the Way-dar"
Is Dave Cawley really Pat Felon?
Garage Sale @ Honfest 2008
Geeks, Freaks & Scream Queen Peeks
Dave Meets the Buzzcocks! ("It's the Buzz, Hon!")

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Blogger LoveFeast Table said...

Happy birthday David!!!! From some of the (Dolan) gang...Kristin and tribe.
You still got it!

9:09 PM  

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