Sunday, February 03, 2013

Stereotyping People by Their Favorite...

...Authors, Movies, Directors, Albums, etc.

Lauren Leto (creator and co-founder of Texts From Last Night) has a new book out called Judging a Book by Its Lover that caught my eye when I saw the jacket blurb describing it as the "Origin of the Species for the library set."

Since I belong to that set (or is it sect?), I started reading it and was immediately drawn to the chapter entitled "Stereotyping People by Their Favorite Author" (which I quickly shared with my equally amused friends in the Fiction department).

Sample entries follow:

STEREOTYPING PEOPLE BY THEIR FAVORITE AUTHOR

Thomas Aquinas
Premature ejaculators.
Jane Austen (or Bronte Sisters)
Girls who made out with other girls in college when they were going through a “phase”.
Charles Dickens
Ninth graders who think they’re going to be authors someday but end up in marketing.
Neil Gaiman
People who can name at least Miyazaki films.
C.S. Lewis
Youth group leaders who picked their nose in the 4th grade.
H.P. Lovecraft
People who can quote the Comic Book Guy from Simpsons.
Stephenie Meyer
People who type like this: OMG. Mah fAvvv <3<3
Ayn Rand
Workaholics seeking validation.

You get the idea.

The bitterness in me loves stereotypes, so, inspired by her ability to categorize readers in Fortune Cookie-sized text bites, I tried my hand at stereotyping library patrons by their movie and television tastes but it was too painful and reminded me of too many migraines suffered retrieving The Secret for brain-dead would-be entrepreneurs or Tim LaHaye's latest "End Times" "literary" drivel for Born Again religious zealots.

And anyway, others had beaten me to the punch with their snarky lists of how to judge people by their cultural tastes.

Following are some prime examples of pop cultural stereotyping that, in the words of Homer Simpson characterizing "infotainment," are "funny because they're true." Or true-ish!

We start off with Flavorwire's Judy Berman and her funny year-end round-up, "Stereotyping You by Your Favorite Movies of 2010."

STEREOTYPING YOU BY YOUR FAVORITE MOVIES OF 2010

The Social Network
People who are always telling you what critics said about shit.
Black Swan
People with beautiful, undiagnosed anxiety disorders.
Blue Valentine
Pervs. Seriously, the movie isn’t even out yet. All you know about it is that there’s a steamy sex scene.
Inception
People who overuse the question, “Or is it?”
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Girls (and grown women) who hope, deep down inside their souls, that there is more to love than awkward, post-school dance make-outs and nights at home with Netflix and Chinese food.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
Boys (and grown men) who would like to substitute “magic” for “feelings” whenever possible.
Alice in Wonderland
Goths who haven’t actually read Alice in Wonderland.
Valentine’s Day
Women who own signed copies of He’s Just Not That Into You.
Shutter Island
Movie guys who refer to their favorite directors by their first name — Martin, Francis, Stanley, etc.
The Ghost Writer
People who want you to know that art and politics are separate, OK? OK!?
The Runaways
Ladies who missed their chance to be high-school rebels.
Greenberg
Dudes who missed their chance to be 20-something… well, anything, really.
Hot Tub Time Machine
People who mistakenly believe the ’80s revival will never die.
Why Did I Get Married Too?
People who are still laughing at “men are like this, women are like that” jokes.
Date Night
Women who fantasize about Steve Carell, men who fantasize about Tina Fey.
The Human Centipede
Bros who have to follow up all their jokes with “Too far?”
Trash Humpers
People who fart in public, loudly take credit for it.
Get Him to the Greek
People who are wistful for when we still had rock stars. No, Kings of Leon don’t count.
I Am Love
People who overuse words like “voluptuous” and “decadent.”
The Kids Are All Right
Folks with lots of progressive bumper stickers on their car.
Enter the Void
People who are starting to romanticize their drug years a bit too much.
Never Let Me Go
Readers who “don’t watch a lot of movies.”
Easy A
Gals who got called sluts in high school, but have grown up to be quite successful, thank you.
The Town
People who have been telling you for years that Blake Lively is a good actress, goddammit.
Carlos
Folks who think owning a Che Guevara shirt makes them radical. 
Burlesque
Gay dudes who really wanted to make Showgirls happen again. Guys, Showgirls is once in a lifetime. It’s never happening again.
Love and Other Drugs
Guys who can’t say “viagra” without giggling and the women who love them.
Jackass 3D
People who don’t understand what performance art is.

STEREOTYPING PEOPLE BY THEIR FAVORITE ALBUMS OF 2010

Ms. Berman also compiled the list "Stereotyping People by Their Favorite Albums of 2010."

MGMTCongratulations 
People who get the joke five minutes later, once you’ve moved on to a new topic.
The Arcade FireThe Suburbs
That friend who suddenly started liking Bruce Springsteen after years of indie snobbery.
Kid CudiMan On The Moon II: The Legend Of Mr. Rager 
Hip-hop heads who are hiding a nerdy past.
Big BoiSir Lucious Left Foot: The Son Of Chico Dusty 
Guys whose moms used to wash their mouths out with soap for cursing.
M.I.A.Maya 
People who won’t stop telling you shit you already know about WikiLeaks.
Titus AndronicusThe Monitor
That dude who keeps arguing even after you’re like, “Hey! Fine! You win, okay? I give up!”
DrakeThank Me Later
Macho guys who refer to their clothing as “attire.”
RobynBody Talk Pt. 1
Fourth-wave feminists and the men who love them.
DeerhunterHalcyon Digest
Record store clerks who try to give you unwanted recommendations.
The RootsHow I Got Over
People with extensive herbal tea collections.
SuperchunkMajesty Shredding
Dudes who still have a drawerful of concert T-shirts from the early ’90s.
YeasayerOdd Blood
Folks who wish they went to Woodstock, figure doing acid is the next best thing.
Kings of LeonCome Around Sundown
Guys who have always wanted to wear a leather jacket but somehow can’t summon the chutzpah to buy one.
EminemRecovery
People who secretly watch — and cry over — Behind the Music
The Black KeysBrothers
Whiskey drinkers.
Marnie SternMarnie Stern
Ladies who wear their mood swings as a badge of honor.
of MontrealFalse Priest
Drama club members, past and present.
Beach HouseTeen Dream
Girls who like to layer lace over lace.
Vampire WeekendContra
That one frat dude who’s always trying to get his brothers to come out to a show with him.
Nicki MinajPink Friday
People who still haven’t heard that one Annie Lennox song, or that one verse from the Kanye album.
Best CoastCrazy for You
Girls who are always reminiscing about high school, even though it kind of sucked.
WavvesKing of the Beach
Guys who dig adult women who act like teenage girls.
LCD SoundsystemThis Is Happening
Dads who used to do a lot of drugs.
The NationalHigh Violet 
Dads who used to drink a lot (or still do).
Kanye WestMy Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
People who, when you ask them whether they liked a movie or not, say, “Well, um, what did you think of it?”
STEREOTYPING PEOPLE BY THEIR FAVORITE CHICK FLICK

Ms. Berman augmented her 2010 lists with another great entry, this one called "Stereotyping People by Their Favorite Chick Flick":

Sex and the City
Midwestern career girls saving up to buy Manolos
Sex and the City 2
Culturally insensitive Midwestern career girls saving up to buy fake Manolos
Confessions of a Shopaholic
Women who thought there were too few pretty dresses in SATC
A League of Their Own
Third-wave feminists
Love Actually
Women who get overly excited about poppy movie soundtracks
The Joy Luck Club
White women who believe that all Asian women are quiet, strong, and wise
Titanic
Dudes who didn’t realize Titanic was going to be a chick flick but aren’t going to front — they kinda teared up a little at the end
Waitress
Hip, quirky, retro circle skirt-wearing ladies who will call you sexist if you even try to insinuate that Waitress was a chick flick
Sense and Sensibility
People who prefer the term “period drama” to “chick flick”
Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion
Women who have regrets about/don’t remember their teen years
Thelma and Louise
Women you might want to start worrying about
Beaches
Gay men who have dressed up as Bette Midler… or at least fantasized about it
The Bridges of Madison County
Women who think Clint Eastwood is “still really hot”
The First Wives Club
Cougars who would not be comfortable calling themselves cougars
How Stella Got Her Groove Back
Cougars who totally “own” the title
Steel Magnolias
Rootless urban women who romanticize sturdy, earthy Southern gals and the loyalty they feel toward one another
Waiting to Exhale
Women who identified with Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes, God rest her soul
The Devil Wears Prada
Women who feel for Andy now but will be Miranda in 20 years
The Twilight Saga
Every tween girl in the world and the mother who secretly raids her DVD collection
Pretty Woman
Women with a foggy understanding of sex work
Maid in Manhattan
Women who aren’t bothered by retrograde class stereotypes and expectations
When Harry Met Sally
Women who make a lot of noise in restaurants and the Billy Crystal-fan men who love them
Valley of the Dolls
Women with a healthy appreciation for camp and their gay best friends
My Best Friend’s Wedding
Women who secretly wish Julia Roberts could just marry the gay best friend, sexual orientation be damned
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
People who like to remind you that it is an “indie film”
Gone with the Wind
Women whose impossibly high romantic standards are, frankly, destroying their lives
Valentine’s Day
Women who appreciate seasonally appropriate marketing
Bride Wars
Masochistic always-the-bridesmaid types
Sleepless in Seattle
Women who secretly hope to be proposed to live on The Today Show
Must Love Dogs
Women whose pets will be part of their wedding party
Boys on the Side
Hey, lesbians need chick flicks, too
Bridget Jones’ Diary
Women who keep witty journals they secretly hope someone will read
Postcards from the Edge
Former wild children who have moved to the suburbs
Dirty Dancing
Girls who spend time pondering whether there’s a male term for “shiksa”
Chocolat
Women who say, “I’m gonna be naughty” before reaching for a truffle
He’s Just Not That Into You
That friend who’s always trying to give you relationship advice, despite the fact that you’re engaged and she called you crying last weekend about her fourth break-up of the year

STEREOTYPING PEOPLE BY THEIR FAVORITE DIRECTOR

And for those of you into auteur theory, here's Pomp and Cinema's "Stereotyping People by Their Favorite Director" list:

Wes Anderson
Indie music fans (although none will fess up to it).

Steven Spielberg
People who haven't seen any movies.

Noah Baumbach
Hipsters who majored in English.

Jim Jarmusch
Literary music lovers who aspire to live on the Lower East Side.

Jean-Luc Godard
Francophiles who are bitter.

François Truffaut
Francophiles who are joyous.

John Cassavetes
People obsessed with Ray Carney.

Andrew Bujalski
People REALLY obsessed with Ray Carney and between the ages of 18 and 30.

Ingmar Bergman
People who prefer books to movies.

Mel Brooks
Goofballs.

Sofia Coppola
Girls who want to make movies.

M. Night Shyamalan
Kids who want to be the next Spielberg.

Todd Haynes
Film theory/semiotics students.

Spike Jonze
Skaters.

Gus van Sant
LGBT teens.

Martin Scorsese and/or Paul Thomas Anderson
Really angsty film students who probably attend NYU.

Todd Solondz
Misanthropes.

Barbara Loden
Feminists.

Michel Gondry
DIY types who are too busy making stuff to watch a whole lot of movies.

Michael Bay
Complete dumbasses.

Harmony Korine
Very intelligent stoners who secretly wish they were black.

Tim Burton
High school art students with piercings and wild hair.


Judd Apatow

Bros with good senses of humor.

David Lynch
Kooks.

Michael Moore
Politically active pinko liberals.

John Hughes
Teenagers who love all things cheesy and forever belong in the 80s.

Zach Snyder
Kids who've spent most of their lives playing video games.

The Coen Bros.
Cynics with a penchant for old movies.

Woody Allen
Gentiles who wouldn't mind being Jewish (and vice versa).

Stanley Kubrick
Kids who just got their first camera.

Hayao Miyazaki
Young anime enthusiasts.

Quentin Tarantino
People who insist on demonstrating their cinephilia by incessantly quoting movies.

Wong kar-Wai
Hip jet-setters.

Federico Fellini
People obsessed with their dream lives.

Richard Linklater
Slackers.

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