Wednesday, April 01, 2009

The All-Protein Diet

More gunk unearthed during my house cleaning...


Cooking with Semen
by Jay Lynn

Picked this up while thrift-shopping with Senator Theatre manager Gayle Grove, who insisted I buy it. I obviously bought this for the title, not the recipes. Not sure if it was a gay cookbook or a spoof, but the recipes are pretty lame (though requiring a lot of hard work to make!): pretty much every dish calls for 1 teaspoon of special sauce, or 10cc - the average quantity produced by each male ejaculation (and supposedly the inspiration for the name of Godley and Creme's '70s band 10cc).

Here's author Jay Lynn's intro to Cooking with Semen:

"Semen, it's not just for breakfast anymore"

Lynn notes that many ancient civilizations, such as Druids and elite Romans, used to save bodily secretions for use in revitalizing the body. For his recipes, he recommends refrigerating these secretions before using in order to keep them fresh.

Of course, napkins are required for any messy meal, so I'm glad I picked up some Cum-Kleen personal wipes (Mango-scented no less!) from one of the sex toy vendors at the 1997 East Coast Video Show in Atlantic City.


"Get it off after getting off!"

I love how a simple handi-wipe, which you can buy at the grocery store to use for eating barbequed ribs or as a baby wipe, has been rebranded as a sex hygiene aid! I wonder if porn stars really used these?

Here's the back of the package, which advises that the wipes are also available in "handy tub size" (what - for orgies?):


"The original wipe that KLEENS love's messy moments!"

  • Disposable and convenient

  • Clean's today's lubes

  • Beats ruining another towel

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