What's the Story, Morning Glory?
The mystery of the Parkville Phallus
Rock hard peter, Parkville style (photo by Amy Davis - but not the Baltimore Sun's Amy Davis!)
When Amy drove off to work Sunday morning, she was greeted by this huge dick drawing sketched in chalk on her apartment complex parking lot. It made her smile. It made me smile when I saw it later. I'm sure it made everyone smile because, well, everyone loves a big dick! They're a load of fun!
But who, we wondered, left this festive Sunday offering for the Parkville apartment-dwelling community to feast their eyes on (and tread their tires over)? Kids? Juveniles? Pube-escents? And why this tomfoolery before Halloween, still a full week away?
It made us both think of the UK's Huffington Horse etching and, while this was no Huffington Horse, it was certainly hung like one. Rather, it was more like an asphalt crop (cock?) circle, a mystery appearing at the crack of dawn to make onlookers wonder who created it and what was its purpose.
Having just seen Werner Herzog's latest documentary, Cave of Forgotten Dreams, the night before at The Charles Theater, we marveled at the pavement penis as if we were Herzog and his cast of archeologists deconstructing the prehistoric Cheval Cave drawings. "Vot does this primitive representation of the male genitalia tell us about sexual mores in the new Millenium?" Herzog may well have intoned upon seeing this giant dick. "Does it point tovard der sun, that giant egg-shaped source of all life on earth, as if to fertilize it with man's essence, or is it a severed organ, representing Modern Man's increasingly marginalized and metrosexualized presence in today's vorld?"
Balls of Confusion: the situation gets hairy down below
Amy keeps an eye on her Parkville Parkin'lot Phallus to be sure the erection doesn't last longer than 4 hours (thus necessitating emergency medical assistance from Balto County road crews!)
"Story of my life - I always get the shaft!" Tom laments
We may never know the Parkville Pee-Pee's origin. But it made me pine for the days when Baltimore's Woodbourne neighborhood truly had wood. Yup, it made me think of The Penis Tree.
The Penis Tree (Baltimore or Less)