True Love = ))<>((

With that dreaded commercial holiday Valentine's Day fast approaching, I tried to think of some sentiments about the day that didn't make me gag. And all I could come up with, when musing about L-U-V, was a line from Miranda July's film You and Me and Everyone We Know. In this film about the search for meaningful relationships in a disconnected world, 7-year-old Robby (played by 7-year-old Brandon Ratcliff) is exploring Internet chatrooms and, in over his head with a flirtatious adult chatter, is asked what would like to do with her. Not knowing about sex, he thinks up something truly outlandish.

"You poop into my butt hole and I poop into your butt hole ... back and forth ... forever." - Robby

Robby signs off with the symbol of his sentiment: ))<>((

What a concept! Back and forth forever. What a way of saying "I love you"! Ah, from the mouth of babes come words of wisdom! Amazingly, the film's official Web site sells t-shirts with this infamous sentiment and symbol. My girlfriend likes to repeat this line as a testament to our undying commitment to each other (*blush*). I think that qualifies Miranda July's film as a romantic comedy.

All I know is, I find ))<>(( to be a far more passionate paen to the otherwise entirely arbitrary, shallow, unimaginative, and commerce-driven concept of Romance we celebrate with the holiday called "Valentine's Day".

Though I will, hypocritically, still go out and buy my significant other the requisite maudlin card, sweet saturated fats, and, possibly, even risque lingerie. Because, at heart, I am basically a coward.

))<>(( Related Links:
Buy the Shirt!
Back and Forth Forever (Great blog review of You and Me and Everyone We Know)

Say No To VD!: Anti-Valentine's Day Links
Be My Anti-Valentine
Alternative Sweet Hearts
Anti-Valentine's Day Central
12 Steps for Anti-Daters
Love Sucks Month