Thursday, October 06, 2005

The Library Monologues

This is the city: Baltimore, Maryland. I work here. I carry a badge. It says "Librarian."

Interaction between librarians and patrons is called "the reference interview." This is one such interaction. Many of our patrons at the city library have special needs. This is one of them. His name has been changed to protect his child-like innocence. Let's call him Sixth Sensai, because he claims to hear voices in his head - his 6th sense.

"man, i can't even look at my kung fu book. i'm gonna see if someone will get jackie chan to help me out. if i look at my kung fu book then i just know there's someone staring at me. i'm not thinking about nothing nekative. i just want to stare at my kung fu book without someone lookin' at me. it's a conspiracy. people was like getting outa their cars. he ain't gonna do nothing. in order to do all those things people gonna corrupt their minds.

i'm still trying to figure out what that movie is where bruce lee looks like jackie chan. sometimes when he gets real tough, he gets like this.

(puffs up his chest, puts his arms out at his side and flexes his muscles. then bounces around to the right and left.)

that's one thing people don't know about him. they think he's real comedy-like but he's intense. if they put jet lee against him, jackie chan will out smart him.
that's why i stay... people out here always corrupting my head. see how phoney people is out here. demons in my head saying people gonna steal things from me. my mother act like she don't know.

(looks at the computer screen where another librarian is looking things up for him)

...oh, the movie's not gonna be on here. i just wanna get on that thing where lucifer... i mean, where lucifer finds out you got a weak mind. like when you can't stand up for yourself because lucifer finds out your're weak. i can leave the house and talk to these people. there was lucifer getting his demons and they all stare at you. watching your moves. corrupting your minds.

i can't say nothing about george bush. god coulda done that. cos too many people been using that stuff. over 8000 people in america have those false religions."

- overheard at the information desk, 10/06/05 11:48 am


Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'll try to work up a few more for you. i keep trying to get our long-bearded immortality-chasing friend transcripted, but there's something about his discourse that proves difficult to transcribe.

12:22 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home